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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:09 am 
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ernestgreene wrote:
The term "FetLife master" is pretty much an oxymoron, as most of the self-proclaimed and usually unpartnered claimants to the title couldn't top a cupcake.

This 500 times over

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 2:52 pm 
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Yes, well, that's why they love me so much over there.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 5:31 pm 
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celestical wrote:
ernestgreene wrote:
The term "FetLife master" is pretty much an oxymoron, as most of the self-proclaimed and usually unpartnered claimants to the title couldn't top a cupcake.

This 500 times over


Got to agree with all this. It they were that good a Master or a Sir they would not need to tell everyone . Their subs would know it and nobody else needs to.. Seems a case "he doth protest too much" IMO :D


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 5:56 pm 
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It makes sense if they are using the site as a dating/matchmaking tool. Perhaps it is like saying "I like dogs." :)

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 9:49 pm 
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If that were the case they would more properly identify themselves as dominant. Master is an appellation that correctly applies only to someone who is in an active M/s relationship with someone else who identifies as his slave. It's a title that's earned by the consensual, committed submission of a partner.

One of the many things that infuriate me about FetLife (a very long list indeed) is the grandiose title inflation that's routine there. A guy in his twenties who has never had a submissive partner but awards himself a screen name beginning with "Master" is akin to a kid who builds model ships and refers to himself as "Captain."

There are any number of equally grating appellations these folk adopt without appropriate credentials. It's rather unlikely that any of the "Lord So-and-Sos" over there have family names to be found in Burke's Peerage. And as for all the "Sirs," I'd like to see a photograph of one of them being tapped on the shoulder with a sword by Queen Elizabeth. I'll not hold my breath waiting for that.

And the women are no better. Mistress (always capitalized of course) is just another word for the more accurate femdom unless the individual in question is on top in an ongoing M/s dynamic also or operates a commercial domination studio. As for Empress, Goddess, Baroness, Lady etc. I find myself wondering how, to paraphrase Voltaire, two of them can pass in the street with straight faces.

The truthful thing to do in a profile there is to identify one's orientation, describe what that means to them, and let others decide what additional honorifics may be in order.

On a related point, the entire ethical structure of BDSM rests on mutual consent in all matters. When you stick a fancy title in front of your name and post something under it online, you compel anyone wishing to respond to that post to do so by addressing you according to your unearned title. Not one of these people is my Master, Mistress or even top. I am not the vassal of any of the various internet royalty parading themselves in cyberspace and every time I engage in conversation with them I shouldn't be non-consensually required to acknowledge a status I have very little reason to believe they legitimately hold. There are many changes I would institute if by some horrific accident FL fell into my hands, but the first thing I would do is flat ban the use of all titles not awarded by heredity or an institution empowered bestow such monikers. The only legitimate honorifics there belong to current or former members of the military, serving or retired political office-holders, religious leaders or officers of organizations. Leather title-holders who compete for ceremonial leather sashes awarded by BDSM groups would also qualify.

Not surprisingly, of those FL members I know who live up to that standard, not one includes mention of it in his or her screen name.

What does this tell us about those who feel the need to be addressed by every mortal on earth as some kind of potentate, regardless of whether or not they live in their parents' basements, work at Starbucks and have never had an offline BDSM experience in their brief lives?

I am not the most popular guy over there for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is my habit of walking by such posers with stiff, unbowed knee.

The irony of this being that I could legitimately lay claim to a couple of those titles if I wanted. Nina and I have been an M/s couple for fifteen years. She refers to me as "master" when she posts over there but that is at her own discretion. I put in six terms as head of the largest BDSM organization in Southern California and was awarded a leather vest with a big patch on the back identifying me as "Coordinator Emeritus" (though that wouldn't make for a very sexy nick). I've been a regional representative to The National Leather Organization (that's not too alluring either but I did earn it) and was one of the founders of The Los Angeles Leather Roundtable. And having been the first Westerner to teach shibari bondage in the U.S., I have been told more than once I'm entitled to call myself "Sensei." In fact, the kanji tattooed on my left arm simply reads "shihan," which translates most closely to "professional instructor."

I'm good with that, will also accept a politely offered "sir" (lower case only) when addressed as such by someone acting in the submissive role. Otherwise, I'm on a first-name basis with everyone in keeping with my egalitarian political views.

I do not, however, suggest calling me Ernie. Those who do so are invariably trying to start a fight over something and I don't care to give them the satisfaction of providing them with one.

Sorry for the rant, but after thirty years of this foolishness my patience has worn just a bit thin.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 7:39 am 
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ernestgreene wrote:
Sorry for the rant, but after thirty years of this foolishness my patience has worn just a bit thin.

You've more then earned the right. Always look forward to reading your posts. Keep up the good work. :D

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 4:09 pm 
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Thanks. I don't know if it's good, but it's certainly work.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 4:19 pm 
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Rufus wrote:
I never disagree with Erenisch but does this universe even have Darwin Awards?

Michelle is a good example. She made several fatal mistakes.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2015 6:30 pm 
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MrGoodPecker wrote:
Rufus wrote:
I never disagree with Erenisch but does this universe even have Darwin Awards?

Michelle is a good example. She made several fatal mistakes.


She does, but would "the goofiest things done by slavecunts "really earn an award? Perhaps


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